SURGERY TIME!
My bilateral mastectomy and sentinel lymph node biopsy was on November 17th, which was 3 days ago. I was very anxious about the anesthesia, more so about that than the actual 5-6 hour surgery. I had a fantastic nurse anesthetist that gave me something to put me asleep before we even got to the OR. This way I didn't have time to worry about it. The team of doctors (John Cox- surgical oncologist, and Melanie Aya-Ay- plastic and reconstructive surgeon, as well as a nuclear medicine physician and an anesthesiologist team of three) all did a fantastic job caring for me during the procedure! It is amazing realizing how many people put so much time and effort into saving my life and building my body back up. I am so thankful that they were willing to be God's instruments in my life. The painstaking effort that Dr. Cox put forth in making sure all the breast tissue was gone leaving paper thin skin behind, as well as samples being sent to pathology DURING the procedure to determine how much skin area needed to be taken is incredible to think about. This is not to mention the precision in creating the place for a new feminine form from practically nothing, by Dr. Aya-ay (one more surgery will be required by Dr. Aya-ay in the spring to complete reconstruction). I will forever be indebted to these people who have allowed God to use them in such a miraculous way in my life.
Preliminary results: SO FAR, Dr. Cox and his resident believe that all of the cancerous tissue was removed with adequate margins of normal tissue. They also know already that there was NO CANCER found in the lymph nodes! This is great news, as it would minimize the toxicity and amount of follow up cancer treatment post surgery. All of the tissue that was removed was sent to pathology, and final results will come back after Thanksgiving. Then we will find out the total number of tumors (I could feel 2, one was biopsied), size of tumors, if some of the "pre-cancer" was calcium and not cancerous (it looked like there was pre-cancer throughout the right breast on the mammogram). We will also find out what the cancer was "fed by," which helps to determine what follow up treatment will be needed to prevent new cancers from forming, now that we know that I have a high likelihood of forming these types of cancer. Three options are sometimes recommended for my type of cancer: chemo, chemo and hormone therapy, or hormone therapy alone. Although all three of these options have side effects, hormone therapy alone is way less toxic to the body (and easier for your other organs to handle). So, although we would like for me to not have ANY side effects with follow up treatment, we are being realistic and praying that the best course of action for my particular cancer will be hormone therapy alone. We are unsure of how my heart and kidneys would handle chemo, so it would be a difficult decision if we had to decide whether to take chemo or not, if it were recommended. We are praying that chemo will not be recommended for my type and stage of cancer (so praying that is designated as stage 1, hormone fed, slow dividing!).
MY STYLIST
I think one of my favorite memories from this recovery time post surgery will be James fixing my hair for me. It usually entails my hair going everywhere and James saying he doesn't know how to brush my hair cause there's so much of it, followed by me asking him to brush it from underneath, followed by James flipping my hair everywhere but not actually brushing it, and me laughing and saying he can stop. I'm just going to have to go with the crazy hair look for now. There is no way that I can lift my arms above my shoulders, let alone brush my hair. It is hard to be dependent on others for EVERYTHING. But I think its good for me too. I can't put my clothes on, get myself out of bed, or even open my medication bottles without help. Its been so special in some ways having my loving husband take care of me. Even if he doesn't do everything "right." Even if he folds the towels wrong and doesn't know how to put on leggings, the effort that he is putting forth is making me feel so loved. On that note, I feel so loved by so many right now. The care that you all have shown me has blown me away, and continues on a daily basis. Maybe I should have expected this kind of care, but I did not. I don't know how I'll ever thank you all. I won't be able to.
FASHION DIVA with HOMEMADE DRAIN POCKETS
So, to emphasize what an incredible nurse James has been for me, I want to explain all of the things that he does for me. I probably won't remember to share everything he does. First of all James is doing laundry and dishes, as well as basic picking up around the home (which our laundry is a lot!). He sets a timer for every 8 hours for two of my medications and every 4 hours for my other medication (including in the middle of the night!). He gives me a glass of water and my meds around the clock. He helps me into bed and out. He assists me with using the restroom, keeps me clean, and gets me dressed in the morning. This includes brushing and fixing my hair. On top of this he is stripping, emptying, measuring, and recording how much is draining into the tubes that are connect to my incisions using gloves and hand sanitizer, being careful not to expose my wounds to germs. Now this is a labor of love! These tubes are where the nifty homemade drain pockets come in! I knew before surgery that I would have tubes and drains coming out of the incisions. I wanted a way to carry them that would keep pressure and pulling off of the incisions. Hence this pink and purple diva drain pocket. Each pocket holds two jp drains and can be worn over or under clothes.
THE NOOK
Yesterday James took me out on a date. We haven't had a lot of dates lately, so this was a special treat, even thought I was in pain! James did EVERYTHING for me. He got me dressed, helped me to the car, buckled my seat belt, and helped me with the car door. I can't get up or down without him but he still wanted to put in the extra effort to have a special date. His tenderness with me is so loving. I don't want to put this kind of pressure on my hubby, but its so meaningful to me that he is up to the task of caring for and loving me, regardless of the amount of effort required.
How to PRAY:
We appreciate everyone's prayers so much! We can't thank you enough. It seems that God is answering prayers already ;). Please pray for continued healing and that I am able to manage the intense chest pain well. I am not able to take the amount of muscle relaxer that most mastectomy patient's take due to my kidney issues. This means I have to deal with more pain unless I take higher doses of the prescribed narcotics, which makes me sleepy and loopy. Please pray that my muscles would move and that God would minimize the pain. Also please pray that my pathology results indicate Stage 1 and stage 0 cancers (and no later stages), as well as hormone receptor positive, slowly dividing, and the least abnormal looking cells. This type of cancer could be treated with hormone blockers and no chemo. My kidneys and heart could be permanently damaged by chemo, but if we need it to make sure the cancer is gone, we would probably still do it. Please pray that chemo is not even recommended for my cancer. Please pray that the cancer was removed 100 percent with more than adequate margins of normal tissue between what was removed and the cancer cells. Please pray that follow up treatment, regardless of what it is, is clear with what we should do. Please also pray that any follow up treatment is effective and that no cancer comes back EVER in my life (this is my second cancer battle, though this battle will leave me changed physically more than the previous cancer). Please pray for good healing of my skin and no necrosis (skin dying), which is a semi-common problem in reconstruction due to so many blood vessels being removed. Also please pray that I would regain feeling in areas that have lost feeling due to severed nerves. I've also been having some evidence of allergic reaction to something that was used on my skin. There are small blisters popping up, which could be a concern due to contributing to infection risk. Please pray that the itchiness and blistering would be resolved quickly with no infections. The itchiness is quit uncomfortable. Praise God with us that surgery went so well and that the prognosis is good so far. Please pray for the health of my heart, and particularly for my kidneys as they have had to filter out the nuclear medicine as well as pain medications and later more medications. My kidney function is not looking good. Right now it looks like its at 21 percent of normal function. It had been at 23 percent for a long time, so we are praying for it to go back to where it was. Even those few percentage points make a difference.
Everyone has been saying that I'm so strong, but I'm really not. I'm glad I don't have to fight, cause God will fight for me (Exodus 14:14). You all are seeing God's strength. I am determined not to focus on myself, but rather to keep going and moving forward. Satan tries to paralyze us with fear and despair. With God we have hope. I pray that I will always share that hope, regardless of what I'm facing.
GET CHECKED
On another note, ladies please be giving yourself regular self exams! (and men!) So many people say that they don't want to have a physical because they are worried that something might be found. Cancer is NOT genetic in my family, and my breast cancer is not the genetic type. I have zero risk factors and am actually considered low risk. I have breast cancer that was found early (thanks to God!). If cancer is found early it is WAY easier to treat it successfully than if it is found late. I'm not saying this to scare anyone, but really you need to check. Also, eat healthy. What you eat is going to come out. I eat pretty clean. Just think if I ate junk, dyes, artificial sweeteners. That cancer probably would have been growing faster! Those free radicals feed cancer. So, if I don't let my kids eat blue icing or artificially flavored candies at your home, please don't be offended. Our family doesn't eat chemicals that weren't initially intended to be food! Also, please wear sunscreen! Skin cancer is being found at younger and younger ages. Get your moles checked too! Who cares if its awkward wearing a paper gown, isn't your life worth it? We are supposed to take care of our bodies to the best of our ability. God created our bodies for us. One way that we can honor God is go care for our bodies. If one person prevents cancer of finds their cancer earlier because of this note, my cancer will have been worth it. God works in mysterious ways. We don't always understand it or like it, but we just have to let ourselves be used.
